Tag Archives: Bridget Allen

It’s Bridget’s Word: Acceptance, Love, and Self-care #AutismPositivity2015

By Bridget Allen

I am tired. Bone tired. Soul tired.

When I started this blog, I was in the best health of my life. I don’t mean that in some colloquial sense. I mean, as a person multiply disabled from birth, I was experiencing, for the first time in my life, health. Minimal pain, increased mobility, fewer seizures, and blood counts on the low end of normal, but still normal.

It was amazing. I felt like a super hero in middle of my own origin story.

I wanted to do all the things. “No” and “I can’t” left my vocabulary. The world was big and bad, and I wanted to do everything I could to make it a tiny bit better.

Of course, I am no superhero, and this is no origin story. Middle aged autistic grannies don’t have origin stories.
(And I wonder; why the hell don’t we? Really. We are an interesting and diverse bunch of bad asses.)

Please see this link to read the rest of this fabulous and important post: http://itsbridgetsword.com/2015/05/15/its-bridgets-word-acceptance-love-and-self-care-autismpositivity2015/

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ItsBridgetsWord to ‘I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers: #AutismPositivity2012

This post was originally published at http://itsbridgetsword.wordpress.com/2012/04/30/itsbridgetsword-to-i-wish-i-didnt-have-aspergers-autismpositivity2012/ and is reprinted here with permission from the author.

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ItsBridgetsWord to ‘I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers: #AutismPositivity2012

To I wish I didn’t have Asperger’s,

I am autistic. I spent a lifetime struggling to keep up with a world of people who, without putting in any real effort, can do things that are incredibly difficult for me. I was derided for my perceived inadequacies, while my strengths and accomplishments were ignored or discounted. This went on so long and so frequently, that I internalized these attitudes. I no longer needed anyone to keep me down. I could do a fine job of that all on my own.

I appreciate humanity in all its varied presentations. I love that we are all so very different. I never viewed success as a one size fits all proposition. We all start out with a different set of tools in our toolbox. It only makes sense that the tools at our disposal shape the life we build. I don’t judge people’s worth based on their wealth, talent, appearance, athletic prowess, or any other skill set. I appreciate the accomplishments resulting from that skill set, but I know those accomplishments are not a measure of the intrinsic worth of an individual. Unless, of course, that individual is me.

I held myself to a double standard I could not possibly hope to reach. I apologized when I could not do things as quickly, gracefully, effortlessly, or seamlessly as those around me. I treated accomplishments like raising children of varying, complex needs as minor. I felt shame when I could not make it in the modern American workplace. Even though my children never missed a meal, had suitable clothing, and went to excellent schools, I felt shame that I could not earn a living that afforded them middle class luxuries. I felt shame, I felt shame, and I felt shame.

Only recently, I realized I deserved the same respect and acceptance from others that I give them. It is not unreasonable to hold other people accountable for their attitudes and actions, even when it relates to me. The fact that I struggle with many of life’s day to day tasks, does not negate those tasks at which I excel. I can be proud. I can be loved. I spend every conscious moment of my life in an effort to not hurt others. I seek to lift up those around me. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I suspect neither have you. We are different. Not less, just different. The world fears different, but the world needs different lest we stagnate.

I am done measuring my worth by someone else’s yardstick. I genuinely hope you are as well.

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