This post was originally published on livinautistic, at http://livnautistic.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/livnautistic-celebrates-1000-ausome-things-autismpositivity2013/ and is reprinted here with permission from the author.
I found out I’m autistic almost 2 years ago. It was the BEST MOMENT of my life. Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of wonderful moments in my life. But in that moment, it was simply Ausome! In that moment, I felt like Clark Kent. In that moment, I was no longer a lonely stranger wandering in a strange land. In that moment, I found my true identity. In that moment, I had a true sense of belonging. In that moment, my life took on a much more meaningful purpose. In that moment…I’m not going to list all the 1000 Ausome things I had in my life since I made the self-discovery, but I’m proud to say, finding out I’m autistic completely changed the direction of my life.
I used to be a unhappy person. Like many autistic people, I once was totally lost in this world. I was the cat who thought itself as a dog. I thought I was a neurotypical and I was ashamed of my neurological difference because I thought them as my weakness. I tried my best fitting into this neurotypical world but it wasn’t very successful. I felt I have to consistently apologize for whom I am. I felt I was somehow different but I didn’t know why or how. And because of that, I was angry, defensive and very insecure.
Finding out I’m autistic changed the person I am. It helps me to understand why I am different. I began to know myself better. I became mindful of my own being. I changed my self-perception. No more negative feelings of doubt and guilty. What takes its place is self-accpetance. Now I can concentrate my energy on living positively — how to work around my weakness and utilize my strengths. I’m no longer disabled by my sense of worthlessness. I know now, I am who I am. I’m aware. I have finally come to my own self. At last, I found the key to my true happiness.
As part of my self-discovery, I looked around for other autistic people like me. And I have found them. There is a huge autistic community on Facebook. There are many of us. We share our stories, our interests, knowledge, support and camaraderie. We talked, we joked, we laughed and we celebrated. I’m no longer alone. We are no longer alone. We have each other. Is that not the most Ausome thing in the world?
In days to come, I hope to meet my autistic friends face to face. I look forward for new adventures and new friendships. My son is 7 right now and I am looking forward to introducing him to the autistic community. There are so many wonderful things we autistic people can do. Together we will build a better world for our future generation. And that is Ausome!