This post was originally published at http://homestyle-mama.blogspot.com/2012/04/homestyle-mama-to-i-wish-i-didnt-have.html and is reprinted here with permission from the author.
Homestyle Mama to “I wish I didn’t have Asperger’s” #autismpositivity2012
“A couple of weeks ago, someone somewhere googled “I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers”. The phrase popped up in a blogging dashboard and struck the blogger as being particularly sad. She wished she could have answered.”
These words in a blog post shared with me by Inner Aspie caught my attention and touched my heart because although I do not have Asperger’s, my children do not have Asperger’s (Alexander’s Autism is in the severe ranges)… I know.
Dear Person with Asperger’s,
I don’t know what it’s like to have Asperger’s but I know what it’s like to want to change yourself, to be someone else. to be accepted for who you are. and I want to tell you… don’t.
Don’t change to be accepted, you are better than that. You are beautiful. You are amazing. you are perfect. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Someone who is worth your concern will accept you for who you are.
Don’t think you are alone in wanting to change yourself because 87/88 people are different than you. We 87/88 feel the same way. We feel alone, we feel isolated, we are bullied too. Taking the Asperger’s away wouldn’t change the way others act, and it wouldn’t change how you feel about yourself. Taking Asperger’s away would be taking part of yourself away.
I had the same question not too long ago, what would my life be like without autism? Then like a bolt of lightning, just as staggering, just as shocking, just as heart stopping, it hit me… the question I was really asking is what would my life be like without my son? Autism makes him different. The challenges he faces in life may be a little different than the 87/88 but the 87/88 aren’t without challenges themselves and his autism gives him a wonderful uniqueness. I would never wish him away. I would never wish you away.
There will always be something about yourself that you are unhappy with. I don’t like that I cannot talk to people. As soon as I open my mouth, the wrong thing comes out every. time.
Cruella is insecure about her ears.
Thing1’s girl wishes she could be skinny like she was before she had the baby.
Water doesn’t like that he’s Mexican. Your Asperger’s is part of you the way Walter’s race is part of him. Without his race, would he still be Walter? Without his race would he have had the same experiences throughout his life that made him the child he is today or are forming the man he will become? What about his sibling relationships? Would not having a bipolar brother, ADHD himself, ADHD brothers or a severely autistic brother change who he is or who he will be? What he has, what he deals with are all part of what makes him, well, him.
Take a step back, stop looking at yourself through your own eyes, it’s just as reliable as looking at your reflection in a rippling pond. Instead, take a good long look at yourself from the eyes of someone who loves you, I bet you’d see something wondrous and way more accurate.