Violets Diary to ‘I Wish I didn’t have Aspergers’ #autismpositivity2012

This post was originally published at http://violetsdiary.wordpress.com/2012/04/30/violets-diary-to-i-wish-i-didnt-have-aspergers-autismpositivity2012/ and is reprinted here with permission from the author.

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Violets Diary to ‘I Wish I didn’t have Aspergers’ #autismpositivity2012

A post for ‘I Wish I didn’t have aspergers’

This is to share a story about my beautiful, bright, kind and determined 11 yo boy who has aspergers.  He is also visually impaired.  Whilst those two things may pose challenges, they do not stop him achieving his goals and do not make him less of a person.  Everyone is different and everyone faces personal challenges.  There are many people in the world who do not value difference.  Whilst this is true, there are many other people in the world who do value and celebrate difference.  You only have to look through the links on this website to find some of them.

A Positive Weekend Story.
Following yesterday’s post I thought I’d share another positive example of perseverance and how it led to another greatly positive experience for B.

My clever boy passed his grade 1 Clarinet exam with a Merit just before Easter and his teacher had recomended he join a local junior training band.  Initially he was really keen to do this as he loves playing the Clarinet, but usually plays alone at home.

During this week he began to get very anxious about the upcoming first band practice. And began to declare that he didn’t want to do it.  It is always very hard to know what to say as parents in this situation.  How far should we go with encouragement and where should we accept that we might be pushing him into doing something that really will upset him?  Anyway, we continued with positive encouragement, reminding him that he had been really keen and that he loves playing.  We also talked about the other children he may know that go to the band and suggested that he at least give it a try as often the thought is worse than the reality.  There have been many situations in the past including that described in yesterday’s post where anxieties before an event have been worse than the reality.  This is the case for most people, but I think it is a concept that B finds hard to understand.

So, Saturday morning dawned and myself and a very quiet B climbed into a taxi and trundled off to band practice.  When we got there one of my daughter’s friends came over and told B where the Clarinetists sit she also introduced us to the band teacher, who was very welcoming.  The format was very relaxed and parents were able to stay in the hall to listen.  As I sat down anther parent I knew came over to chat.  Her daughter is a year older than B and also plays the Clarinet.  Good, I thought, another person he knows.

The band sounded brilliant and I think it gave a whole different aspect to playing than just playing exam pieces alone at home.  At the end of the hour B came over, beaming.  ‘I like it’ he said ‘I want to come again’.  Fantastic achievement and a really great way of doing things with other people as part of a team.

We are now looking forward to going to all the concerts!

What I Would Say To B if he ever says to me ‘I Wish I didn’t have aspergers’
Why do you wish you didn’t have aspergers?  aspergers is part of you.  It is part of what makes you You.  you may think differently and see the world differently, but everyone is different.  Everyone, even those who don’t have aspergers or autistic spectrum disorders, sees the world slightly differently and thinks in different ways about different things.  We all have different thoughts and opinions, We all have different values and beliefs.  We are all better at some things than others.  If we were all the same the world would be a boring place.

The important thing is everyone has a value, we are all different and difference is to be celebrated.

Thanks for reading and keep smiling.

Violet xx

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