To: I wish I didn’t have Asperger’s
From: Tracy (@calormom)
I am mom to an amazing 4 year old with Autism. I worry so much about his future, and when I read this story about you, my heart broke a little bit. My son doesn’t know what Google is yet. Undoubtedly he will someday, and might just type a similar search. Everyone thinks that Google searches will have the answer to everything. We don’t know if you found what you’re looking for. I hope that you did, and I hope that you hear about this project. I hope that you realize you are not alone, even if it feels like it.
I have been thinking about you a lot. I wonder how old you are. I wonder if you have any support from your family. I wonder if there was a specific event that led you to turn to Google that day, or if it was a bunch of stuff that added up to it. Regardless, it made me a little sad. It means that you are dealing with something. Someone either said or did something to you that made you feel sad, or mad, or like you were less than everyone else. I promise you that you’re not.
I am a fairly new mom on this Autism journey. I don’t have all the answers. When we got the diagnosis, I felt alone. But then I found some friends and support, and it eased the insecurities a little bit. And then I found more support. Now I am even at a point where I am actually sometimes helpful to other moms and dads on this journey. This is where our paths cross. I hope that I can be a little helpful to you.
I won’t doubt for a second that Asperger’s makes your life more difficult sometimes. You are not alone. I want you to know that there is support out there. There are real people who can relate to how you feel, what you think, and who you are. Are you on Twitter? It’s a must. On any given day, at any given time, you can go on Twitter and find someone that can either relate to you or will have advice for you if you want it. It doesn’t matter where you live or what time zone you’re in. Somewhere in the world, there is always someone awake and on Twitter that can help you. Start following people and interact with them. They will follow you right back, and they will support you. Read some of the blogs that started this project. I can’t tell you how amazing they are. They have helped me a lot too.
I want you to know that things will get better. It’s hard to do sometimes, but try not to ever let someone else control how you feel about yourself. There are lots of people in this world who are ignorant, condescending, and just plain mean. Don’t ever, even for a second, let them make you feel bad about yourself. You are better than that. If you remain positive and use your strengths, you can make a difference. Hope and faith are endless feelings. As long as you keep those feelings alive no matter what comes your way, they will always be there. My son will face lots of challenges, but I will raise him to be proud of who he is and embrace those challenges. I hope that you can be proud of who you are as well. Use your strengths to educate others. I’m sure you know the latest Autism statistics. As I said before, I don’t know how old you are, but I know you were old enough to go to Google and search for answers. This means you’re old enough to help those coming up behind you, and especially the children. Only YOU know how you feel and what you think. It’s special people like you that will help moms like me learn about my son. I will never know what it’s truly like to be him. Hopefully some day he will be able to communicate his feelings and thoughts to me in order to help me understand. In the mean time, I look to those people who are living it to help me learn. You have so much you could teach me.
Lastly, I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes. It gets me through the hard times and reminds me that even the toughest times won’t last. I hope you know how many complete strangers are thinking about you and wishing you well. I will be thinking about you for quite some time. God Bless.
“In the end everything is okay. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” ~ anonymous