I wish I didn’t have Aspergers: #AutismPositivity2012
Having Aspergers isn’t easy to live with for anyone, although being a Spectrum condition, some people with Aspergers (seem to) cope better than others – but for all we know those with Aspergers who seem to be coping well (which usually just means better than us) may go home every night and weep!
The fact is that you do have Aspergers and that isn’t going to change.
The wording of your search inquiry suggests two things.
1. That you KNOW that you have Aspergers
2. By definition that you are probably sufficiently intelligent to understand what this means, or at least to be able to find out what this means.
Not everyone who has Aspergers realizes that they have Aspergers.
– Some will discover this late in life
– Others will never find out and live out their lives in continuing confusion
At the very least, learning that you have Aspergers gives you an opportunity to clear up some of your confusion, perhaps a lot of confusion.
You can choose whether or not you take that opportunity, an opportunity that others with Aspergers don’t have and may never have.
The psychological stages following the diagnosis of Aspergers (self diagnosis or formal diagnosis) can be something like this, although not necessarily in this exact order.
3. Rerunning your life experience and discovering that they now make more sense (perhaps even perfect sense), in the context of Aspergers
8. Acceptance – the end stage of a grief reaction
People with Aspergers tend to be more interested and more talented in the physical world rather than the social world, there are exceptions.
So while those with Aspergers may not be suited to working as a Maitre d’, or a Wedding planner, they are often very well suited to vocations in the physical world, in some cases much better suited than those who do not have Aspergers.
The ranks of Science, higher Academia, Engineering, Information Technology, the traditional ‘professions, composers, writers, artists, actors, film directors and producers, musicians and inventors are awash with those who exhibited clear and strong Asperger traits.
You are in good company.
I would encourage you to work at getting to the acceptance stage of having Aspergers, perhaps with professional help, because Aspergers is going to continue to be your life long companion and non-acceptance will not make Aspergers disappear.
I would then encourage you, to spend time discovering your passion, (you may have discovered this already) and then to follow this passion using your unique gifts and perspectives, whatever your stage of life happens to be.
I wish you well.