This post was originally published at http://aspieside.com/2012/04/30/neo-letter-to-i-wish-i-didnt-have-aspergers-autismpositivity2012/ and is reprinted here with permission of the author
I understand not feeling like you fit in. It took me a long time to accept me for who I am. Growing up I was made fun of A LOT. I never quite fit in. I never knew what to do. In high school I was miserable.
All of the other kids always looked better, they were all good in sports. All of the other kids liked the pep rallys and the dances. I just didn’t get any of it. Instead I was the kid that did well in school without even trying. I never dressed like the other kids either. It sucked quite honestly.
In college none of those things seemed to matter as much. I was able to focus more on my classwork. I met friends, and I even met my husband. He never felt like he fit in either. Our son is almost exactly like me in every way. He doesn’t fit in either. The doctors say he has Aspergers, well I guess that means I have this thing called Aspergers too. Although I prefer to call myself an Aspie.
Actually I wish that I could get an official Aspergers diagnosis. It isn’t so easy as an adult. Actually I wish that I could get an official Aspergers diagnosis. It isn’t so easy as an adult. You may be wondering why I would want a diagnosis. Because this is the first time that I have felt that I truly fit in. I am glad to finally know why I am the way that I am. I have met some other pretty cool Aspies online and I am glad to know that I am not alone.
Here are some really cool things that I have learned:
1) I am very passionate about things. If I am really interested in something I can remember all kinds of facts and figures. I am always the “go-to” person at work for any information. This also makes me very efficient at work. Efficient means employable.
2) I have supersonic hearing. No really, I do. My son does too. This can be good or bad. For my son this made him a wonderful musician. On the bad side this has made him very sensitive to noise. He has learned to self advocate and tell others when to turn things down.
3) I can feel other people’s emotions. Especially my son’s emotions. This can come in handy in all kinds of situations.
4) We are both super sensitive to touch. For me that means I have to always wear socks because I can’t stand bare feet. For my son that means he can’t stand any clothes. He will wear clothes when out in public though!
5) We have an awesome connection to animals. We both love our cats and they respond really well to us.
6) We can do complex math in our head. My son especially! He taught himself to add when he was 4. He still does all of his math in his head and it is unbelievable!
7) When my son and I read we completely immerse ourselves in the book. It becomes another world. In fact I usually have another world in my head where I can retreat to when this world isn’t so fun.
8) I am okay with being alone. In fact I prefer it. I know people that spend their whole lives trying to be with other people. It is okay to not be with other people every waking minute.
9) We Aspies are honest!! Complete integrity, no embellishments. We accept others as they are too! I love the complete integrity of my son and other Aspies that I have met.
10) Regardless of whether or not any of these traits are the same for you, you are you. Unique is a good thing. If Einstein and other inventors had conformed with everyone else we would not have half the things we have in our world. It is okay to be different.
If you are Autistic or an Aspie please know that you are not alone. It is awesome to be a unique individual. I wouldn’t change anything about myself or my son. I am glad that I didn’t change for other people. I can now really accept myself for who I am. Who wants to like pep rallys anyways!?
This post is part of the #AutismPositivity2012 FlashBlog. If you would like to participate please go here!