Tag Archives: Autism Acceptance

ParaEducate Expressions of PosAutivity #AutismPositivity2014

By ParaEducate

For the second year in a row, ParaEducate is proud participate in AutismPostivity2014. This year’s blog request was to focus on positive stories about Autism. Renay H. Marquez, Co-Founder of ParaEducate and a paraeducator, has chosen to share a personal story of Autism.

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The story starts nearly seven years ago. The young man I was working with was sitting with his case manager going over the new topic: Disability Awareness. Unlike other times, this student did not have to fear any other student leaning over and learning of his disability. The classroom was empty. I was just in the room that morning.

And he didn’t make eye contact with her. He had the conversation that was his homework assignment with his parents: “When did you know I had a disability? And what happened?”  A young man knowing he had been different all this time but now his fate seemingly sealed in this box that had been originally labeled “Hope” with all the dreams that he and his parents had always spoken about for his life. Now the label was tattered, frayed, and all but removed replaced with the word “Autism.”

And then we move this story to the last two years. When I had become the voice of comfort for some close friends hearing that their boxes of Hope for their own sons was seemingly changed by the confirmation of “Autism.” And then watching them stand and not know what action to take to be able to take that next step.

And what I had to say to all the parents I’ve come across, I said to my friends:

You love your son. You have always loved your child.

Autism is the name for the stuff that you always thought you really had a hard time loving.

Autism is not the end, it is only a beginning.

And if you remove the word from the box, you’ve ignored everything else about your child.

You love your daughter. You have always loved your child.

Knowing what it is called won’t take away any of the fears or worries. Some of them are transformed, but you can’t ignore the reality.

And once the fog had disappeared and been replaced by the series of changes the family will have to get used to, none of this will seem so foreign. And you have a different family story to talk about around the table about the way your family became one.

Now the boys’ world  is a little different. I can point out who are successful with and without disabilities and none of that matters because they are all human. And ultimately, this is the lesson I need the boys to learn above all else. Remind the boys of the truth in the  fragility of humanity. Remind the boys that others have the right to their humanity as well. Remind you that we all come to that understanding at different places just as we are all growing up in our own time. Not on a time table based on a date of the calendar. There are times when the boys will “just get it.” There will be times when they forget it. They might know the name of the reason why they have to work so much harder, and there might know be others who know why the boys have to work harder. But the boys aren’t alone. The boys have me. The boys have their respective parents. The boys have the mountain of other people who I have introduced to them also living with Autism.

Now, the young man in the beginning of our story, he’s now 20. He happens to be going to college. There are other young men and women who have had the same story told to them. And they’ve dealt with it differently each growing in their own way, some of them went to college, some of them are holding down jobs. You’ve met some of them. You didn’t know back then when I knew, before your parents knew. You just saw gangly legs and arms, a few unkempt teenage mustaches, and a bright smile. You heard some forced greetings. You know you fit there with these students. And your path will be there for you. Because while Autism veiled your parent’s original hopes, Autism and Hope were really sitting side by side on that box.

Original post at:http://blog.paraeducate.com/?p=497

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Autism: Unique is Awesome – Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Katrina Moody

Let’s Mold Different Perceptions of Autism and Autistic People

Autism Acceptance - because Different is Beautiful When Suzanne Wright penned her opinion piece for Autism Speaks last November, she didn’t inspire me to action, she didn’t help anyone understand the spectrum of Autism, she didn’t help autistic people (adults or children) feel valued and respected.

If you haven’t read the letter you can Google for it, I refuse to link to it. I know there are some parents who feel Autism Speaks really does speak for them and their experience in dealing with autism. But after seeing her words literally call my kids a tragedy, imply that they are missing, imply my kids and others who happen to be autistic are singlehandedly destroying their families, their parent’s marriages …

I was convinced that someone somewhere at that organization had lost touch with the Autism I know and love. And they don’t know the autistic folks I know – because the adults and children I know, including the ones I adore and love and call my own – they are amazing, beautiful and unique people.

Respect our Differences – even our Differences in Opinion

I found, over the weeks and months that followed, that I was increasingly sensitive to the negativity, the almost dehumanization, that seems to accompany some forms of autism awareness. Even some parents would use words to describe their experience that made me flinch. Maybe they were having a bad day, or they were just at a different point in their journey, but it made me increasingly uncomfortable.

Why was I so sensitive?

Not because their experience of feeling overwhelmed was wrong … it’s not about being right or wrong … it’s because the negativity was becoming harder for me to deal with. I actually wrote a friend in a panic wondering if something was wrong with me. I found myself upset by these posts because they seemed to be all I was reading.

Let me reiterate that there’s NOTHING wrong with parents venting and dealing with their experience in their own way. And sometimes I vent too …  BUT I follow a few rules …

Our Rules of Posting:

  1. I don’t share deeply personal things in a public forum  –  when I post something or ask for prayer I won’t always include all the details (sometimes even friends-only can end up letting a LOT of folks see that private post).
  2. If I share something about my husband or my kids publicly, I ask myself if they would mind having it out there. And if I can, I ask them (Bobby and Andy always have final veto power over what I publish, and while Logan isn’t able to verbalize his wants yet, my goal is to share with respect foremost in mind).
  3. I’m careful of details I put in groups, too – Facebook Groups (and most groups and forums online, honestly) come with three different levels — Open, Closed, and Secret. You must assume ANYONE can see something if you post it in an open group, and should assume your own risk in other groups. Trust the people in the group before you share to even a secret group, because once it’s out there, it’s out there.
  4. Ask yourself this: Do you need to vent? Could it hurt my child’s feelings? Could it embarrass them unduly?
  5. There’s more but that’s the biggest part of my own internal checklist (please leave your suggestions in the comments!). There are safe places to vent, and there are safe places to go if you need help, or if you are in crisis. Please reach out to me if you need to hook up with any of those or if you just need an ear…

Read more at: http://katscafe.org/autism-unique-awesome

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An Autistic Brain #AutismPositivity2014

By Debra Hosseini

“Have you had a brain injury?” the neuroscientist asks me after performing an EEG.

“No,” I say.

She points to diagrams of my brain with the different colors which measure delta, theta, alpha, and beta waves.

“You have an autistic brain.”

“You see this?”

I look at the four pictures which are labeled Z Scored FFT Coherence.

It looks like a platter of tangled red spaghetti on all four pictures.

“You have hyper-coherence. Whether your eyes or closed or open your brain waves look the same.”

“Well, I guess that explains Kevin,” I say. Kevin is my Autistic son.

“I can help that with neurofeedback,” she says.

She places another cap on my head which has lots of wires. She puts some sticky goo in my hair and hooks the wires to a machine which is attached to a computer. She inserts the movie “Pretty Woman” in the DVD drive.

I’m to control the brightness of the screen with my brain. This is called brain training.

“You’re doing really well on this,” she says. I’m motivated to make Richard Gere brighten up so I try extra hard.

After the session she takes off the cap and my hair is plastered to my head with the sticky goop.

“I hope you aren’t going anywhere,” she says.

At home, after I wash my hair I call up my best friend and tell her about my brain training session.

“What’s wrong with having an autistic brain?” she asks. She like me has a child on the spectrum.

That makes me ponder.

“I don’t know,” I say.

I wonder how my hyper-coherent brain effects me.

When I google hyper-coherence I find Tourette’s and OCD are symptoms. I know I can get stuck on a thought. Kevin does this too. And so does Kurt my Aspie boyfriend. Stuttering is also a sign of hyper-coherence. I never stuttered but have difficulty with word retrieval sometimes.

“A lot of programmers have hyper-coherence,” Ben, my friend Nancy’s son, says. Ben is Aspie and probably hyper-coherent too.

My past occupation was as a computer programmer and systems analyst.

I continue the biofeedback sessions for six more times and get another EEG. Guess what? I’m no longer hyper-coherent.

Do I feel any different?

I feel my brain is a little sharper now. And I’m a little more relaxed.

“I’d like to do an EEG on Kurt’s brain,” the neuroscientist says.

“Kurt has Weitzulsucht,” I tell her.

“Huh?”

“It’s a disorder that causes incontinent punning. Oliver Sacks talks about it. He can’t control himself. It’s from a frontal brain injury when he fell into the diaper pail as a baby,” I continue.

“Well, I bet his brain EEG would be really interesting,” she says.

Yea, that’ll be another story.

So I’m writing this for the Autism Positivity Day Flash Blog. As I reread it I don’t know if it’s positive. I know that Kevin, my Autistic son, Kurt my Aspie boyfriend and myself all fall somewhere on the spectrum and I feel pretty positive about that. I do know I like to be around autistic people. They have no artifice, make good friends, and are empathetic (unlike what most people seem to think).

Freud once said that nobody is “normal,” and that to me is a good thing. It’s the people who pretend to be normal who may have the real issues.

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What We Have Learnt – #AutismPositivity2014

By Sabrina Landry and Rebecca Atkinson


2e0db-screen-shot-2014-04-21-at-6-45-04-pmToday is the last day of Autism Awareness Month which means that for all those whose lives are not touched by someone on the spectrum or living in the spectrum themselves Autism will probably become a passing thought until next April that is.

I love the Autism Positivity Project. To often the negative attributes of Autism are highlighted and the positive things that Autism has brought to us pushed aside. Autism may have it’s challenges but the people who have Autism are beautiful, caring, compassionate, intelligent, honest, driven, and amazing individuals. As a parent my greatest fears are that my Monkey will be perceived as different, not accepted, and that he will therefore suffer heartache because of this. I hope that by the time my Monkey is an adult there will be a more positive outlook on autism but until that day comes I will continue to build his confidence by reminding him of how amazing he is and all the wonderful things he can do. I always tell him that he can be whatever he wants to be when he grows up regardless of Autism and I truly believe this.

Rebecca and I decided that for our Autism Positivity Post that we would highlight how autism has positively affected us and what our Ausome children are doing…

Read the rest of this post at:http://spectrumwarriors.com/2014/04/30/what-we-have-learnt-autismpositivity2014/

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I am me #AutismPositivity2014

By Paul Lidder

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I am me

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Many Facets of Expression: Expressions of PosAutivity #AutismPositivity2014

By Angel Mindretrofit

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Today I am participating in the Expressions of PosAutivity, I was not sure if I was going to be able to express what I had hoped to … I am still not sure I did, but I do believe I share my positive experiences with expression and how important it is to not only be flexible with other’s ways of expression, but for ourselves as well.

Silently Spoke

I had words,
but could not speak
my eyes misled,
my smile inappropriate,
this body danced,
it pounced and pranced — I spoke

I had many words without a useful mouth,
lips tied; double knotted, invisible string
eyes blinked immeasurable worlds
ears that sang colors for no one to feel
my hands stroked brushes in minglings,
emotions without voice — I spoke

my own personal meltdowns,
shutdowns raging in a stoic face,
masked and cradled in between scratching hands,
nails penetrating flesh,
scars coated in silenced words,
erupting to speak out,
words aggressively broke free,
these fingers glided letters in form — I spoke

~~~~~~

I shared a poem first because many times, it is my only way I can express myself. With poetry, I find that words flow out easily – they are the parts of me that are stirring, but I have no understanding about them. I can write out in bursts of words, then it can take hours, days, weeks, and yes, even years to finally grasp what my mind and/or body were trying to tell me. When the words come, in that moment I feel deeply connected to myself and others who may be in my thoughts. I may not have the fullness of why, but I do know that in that moment the expression makes perfect sense and will manifest answers or connections to other things at some point in time — that brings me peace and comfort.

I think that the Autism Positivity flashblog has been an incredible source of enlightenment.

I personally have gained new insights about how people communicate and express themselves since it started. As I have experienced the various ways of expression within our Autism Community in general over the years, it has given me insights into my children, my husband, and myself. Reading from so many perspectives and personal journeys has opened my mind and heart even more each time people share. I have enjoyed reading the posts shared in our community from Autism Positivity and find such a comfort when reading the posts. This year, I am very excited to read what others have to share about expression and more from their unique points of view.

As I thought about the inspiration, my heart flowed with what I have been experiencing over the last few months.

I have been more observant and mindful of the different ways that people communicate. I have been studying how to read facial expressions, the environmental and emotional reasons for their responses, the purposes and motives for communicating, and gaining new understandings about how communication is expressed in such vast ways. I had an understanding of all of this, but I had not made many connections nor did I fully comprehend how powerful it was to accept, motivate, cultivate, and encourage each person’s means of expression. There is so much that affects the way we communicate. As an Autistic adult, I still struggle with finding ways to communicate, but in the years since blogging and creating/sharing my poetry blog, I continue to press through.

The more that I have been flexible with finding ways of expression for myself, the stronger my identity and voice has become.

As a child into adulthood, one means of communication was dance. However, I did not understand this and I know that others did not either. In the midst of feeling overwhelmed, feeling a meltdown or shutdown coming, I would turn on music and flow with the words and/or tune. I had no idea that I could actually use this to communicate to others. I only used it as a means to “get out” all of the emotions that felt trapped within my mind and body. Several years ago, I allowed myself to try new ways of expressing myself through art of various kinds. I never thought I could paint or draw anything — I did not allow myself to try because I had been labeled non-artistic based on my art grades in elementary school and from the discouragement of my teacher.

My form of expressing art was not traditional.

Since I learned to write as a child, I found that it was what came naturally to me and it was something that I could keep hidden from everyone. Though the physical act of handwriting hurt and still does (I have dysgraphia), it was something that I HAD to do. The pain was worth it to write out all of the things, worlds, ideas, thoughts, that I had in my mind. I ached to share, but I did not receive positive feedback. I was even told by loved ones that what I shared did not make sense to them or it wasn’t their thing. That is discouraging to hear, but it did not stop me from writing or creating poetry. After so many years of hiding my forms of expression, I decided to write openly to an invisible audience without any idea what would happen.

For me, there were several reasons for beginning my blog.

If I were to narrow it down to the most simplistic reason though it would be that I was seeking an outlet for expression. I was seeking some way to communicate and connect to others and myself. I longed to be heard, but my voice had been trapped for so long that it was a struggle to find my words through any means. I had long given up sharing the most hidden parts of my mind, feelings, thoughts, and views. I had learned to mimic and mask, though I have always been an outspoken person for others. That is one reason why David was so surprised by many of the things I wrote in the past, I was so good at not being me that for him to read my inner workings was a little bit of a shock — for the good, but it took him time to process. However, for me I felt I had no way to share without being corrected, judged, condemned, misunderstood, or worse yet not being heard, thus reiterating my fears and pains of feeling invisible.

I wanted to share about my journey and share about our Autistic life, but what transpired was more than, I could have ever imagined.

Thanks to our Autism journey, I have found many answers to my past. After Daniel receiving his ASD diagnosis, I chose a path of working toward helping him in whatever ways were best for him. I had no idea that seeking answers and helps for him would also help me. Through my parenting journey, I realized how important it is to me that my kids all have a way of communication so they can share what they feel and what they think with us and the world. I did not know that an Autism diagnosis would lead me to finding my voice (Aspergers/Autism Has Given Me a Voice) that I had long tried to suffocate in order to make it through another day, nor did I realize how many people had stifled me causing me to feel as though my way of communication was wrong or did not matter.

While Daniel was completely nonverbal, his main source of communication was a way of aggression.

He had no other way of expressing himself. He was not punished or forced into other responses. I am not saying that was or is an easy task, but I feel as a parent I can control my responses and be more understanding, so it is my responsibility to do what it takes to help him. Some may not see this, but for me I feel that exercise/working out is a way to express emotions or things stuck inside me, such as frustrations and anxieties that I cannot find words for, those I try to store them up in an imaginary box. I save them for the Saturdays at my Kravfit class then, I put on my boxing gloves, punch and kick it all out. I am usually screaming and yelling too as it is an appropriate environment to do it. So I knew Daniel was telling me something when he was physically aggressive.

However, it took many guesses and long periods of time to figure it out.

It was frustrating for both of us. I will be honest we still have these days. By seeking ways to help him express himself, such as creating books all about his likes, dislikes, days, events, and adding social stories, he gradually learned more ways to express himself. He has since been able to express himself more so through verbal communication and at times he will attempt art, but throughout his life one of his main forms of expression has been through music. He has always made a beat – thumping, tapping, pounding, whatever he could use to make a rhythm. It took a while to figure out, but what I recently discovered is that many times Daniel is expressing his mood through beats or rhythm.

Was he telling me these things when he was nonverbal?

I would say most likely and I missed it. I do not see this as a lost opportunity, but as a new positive that can manifest even more ways for Daniel to express himself. I wish I had known at the time, but I did not. Now that I do know it opens up new thoughts, ideas, and possibilities to explore. Music helped him learn words when he struggled with them in the conventional ways. Music is helping now in music therapy – he is gaining more confidence in his own thoughts and voicing them. We hope that on those days when he loses his words that using the keyboard or iPad to share his expressions will give him the outlet he needs to express himself. He could find that typing out his words is much better for him.

He may use that as his main means of communication — we are flexible with that.

If that will work best for him, so be it. It works best for me! Learning more about how others communicate has helped to bring healing to my marriage and to our relationship. Since David has become more flexible, he has gained more understanding in how to communicate with the kids and I. It has opened up a relationship between he and Daniel that is amazing to witness. David has his own ways that seem foreign to me and I to him, but being open and willing to learn has allowed us to find ways to communicate better, clearer, and with more empathy. Ariel expresses herself through drawings. She tends to shut down or if she is deep in thought, I find her drawing out elaborate illustrations and pictures of her thoughts.

Joshua builds his expressions or he uses objects like tape, metal items, cuts up paper, and empty boxes to share his thoughts, ideas, or feelings.

I see this in our Autism community as well. We all have our own voice, our ways of expressing ourselves, our individual creative outlets that are a spectrum of greatness. Not everyone can communicate or has found their way to communicate in our community. Some of our children do not have a way to express themselves and even our adults who are so quickly forgotten. As a community, it is vital that we are open to flexible ways of expression. We need to be on the cusp of seeking out inventive ways to make it possible for those who cannot speak traditionally to discover ways to express themselves and share. I believe the future does hold a lot of promise for the generations to come, but we also need to be focused on the here and now.

For the parents who long to know what their child wants, needs, and the thoughts that they have to share.

For the Autistics now who desperately want to be heard and understood, we need to be mindful and observant of what responses are truly speaking instead of assuming or expecting everyone to express themselves in the same ways. I am not sure what to look for, but being in such a multiplex of ideas, expression, perspectives, and talent has broadened my awareness and understanding of my own ways of communication. It has given me an appreciation for how and why people express themselves the way they do. It fuels my desire to want to see everyone find their own way of expression and feel accepted for it. I see such value and importance in being flexible because it could be the key to helping someone who felt as though they would never be heard or overcome with feeling invisible the opportunity to express themselves and let their communication be loud.

Who knows what sort of wonderful ideas, thoughts, person we could be missing out on simply because we have not been flexible and accepting of their way of expression.

 

Original post at: http://www.mindretrofit.com/2014/04/30/many-facets-of-expression-expressions-of-posautivity-autismpositivity2014/

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Autistic Healers Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Kmarie 

2e0db-screen-shot-2014-04-21-at-6-45-04-pmIn the last week alone I have faced four different “Newsworthy” negative reports on Autism advertised as “breakthroughs, ” “understanding Autism,” or “valid research”, and each one has left me in tears because these reports are what the world listens to. But then I found a glimmer of hope in the Autism Positivity Flashblog and my Autistic community. We can be a voice. I can be a voice.

I have several friends, family members and people in my community who are Autistic. They are a diverse group of people with different needs, beliefs and temperaments…but the one aspect I often find my Autistic friend’s have in common are their healing personalities. The lie that Autistics are non empathetic or non communicative is exposed when I am around each of them. They are the people who children and animals flock to, whether they want them to or not due to sensory issues. My Autistic friends are often the people whom the outcasts of society, the abused and the down trodden go to for a listening ear, for compassion and because these people groups feel the Autistics are safe. Generally we are. It is very rare for an Autistic to not be safe, innocent and pure of heart. In the news we hear the horror stories but most often, there are other factors at work that should be exposed. The very stats speak for themselves; the number of Autistic people that commit crimes in the overall population of Autistics verses the number of Nuerotypical people that commit crimes in their overall population makes the issue stunningly clear. Autism does not create violence. Like in any population group, there will be issues but in general, the Aspies I know are trustworthy, kind and considerate.

I am an Aspie/ Autistic and I am 30. I have three children and am married to an NT. We have a happy life. Contrary to popular Autism propaganda we have had a happy 12 year marriage and while having children was hard for me at first, I now love being a mom. While it is true that I can not face meal time every day without my husband or support system nor drive in the city due to executive functioning issues, I also KNOW I give back to the world with my unique set of gifts. Without a doubt Autistics need more support because the current culture is not set up for us. Instead of people fighting Autism we need them to fight Ignorance and stigma. 

There are many parents and practitioners who claim they are reversing autism in children.  They are not “reversing” the way the brain is wired…what is actually happening from the perspectives of Autistics is that they are helping deal with sensory onslaught or other symptoms of Autism that interfere with social interactions and minimizing them. For example, many Autistics have a leaky gut so going off of gluten really helps them think clearer to deal with sensory onslaught of the loud culture we live in, but our actual brain wiring is still unique and different. Cognitive therapy also helps re wire some anxiety that we experience due to being “differently wired” and can aid us in being thought of as more “normal” but we are still Autistic. Just with less “symptoms.” Technically these claims of reversals are actually just improving assimilation, which is fine in some cases but it needs to actually be addressed as it is, and it actually is an ethical conundrum that needs serious consideration. Many Autistic adults who can speak for themselves will tell you this. My son does not seem very Autistic on the outset, because we have worked with him since age 3 on eye contact and anxiety so he is less bullied, but he still works from a different mind theory than an NT. 

I may not fit into society the way it wants me to but I still am valuable and live a worthy life. I feel that if we get too genetically focused on Autism and too focused on “eradicating Autism”, this issue will become quite akin to what Hitler wanted to achieve. Let’s not go there. Diversity is the spice of life, we can help disabling features while still respecting the core…

Read the rest of this post at:http://worldwecreate.blogspot.ca/2014/04/autistic-healers.html

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Moments: Happy Birthday, Teenagers! #AutismPositivity2013

By Tyann Sheldon Rouw

More than ten years ago, I worked with Clark, a man at the University of Northern Iowa who was nearing retirement age. I was pregnant with twins at the time, and many of my colleagues had children of their own. Once in a while, Clark would sit with us in our cubicles late on a Friday afternoon after a long week of work and shoot the breeze. One day he shared that when he thought about his life and how it unfolded, there were certain moments he would never forget. He listed them: getting married while being surrounded by family and friends, becoming a father when his first son was born, and becoming the father of two boys when his youngest son entered the world. Then he told the story of putting pajamas on his two young boys after dinner, loading them into the car with his wife, and taking them out for ice cream. He said it became a fun family tradition.

I’ve never forgotten those words.

At the time I didn’t know if he was just talking to talk, but now I think he had a more important message for us young people: Don’t lose sight of your relationships and your roles. Remember who is important. And have fun.

This week my twin sons turn thirteen years old. Teenagers. We celebrated last Easter weekend with my in-laws at their home. We stayed at a hotel because Isaac is hard to buy for, but he loves experiences. Hotels are at the top of his list. What’s not to love? Elevators, a swimming pool, a breakfast buffet . . . it doesn’t get much better for him.

I’ve been thinking about the moments from the last week I won’t soon forget:

I stood in the kitchen one morning and asked the boys if they wanted to dye eggs after school. Isaac,who was sitting in the living room, shouted, “Yes!”  (He was in another room and answered me. Wowza!) Last year he put two eggs in different cups of dye and retreated to the basement. Not this year. Every boy had an equal number of eggs to color, but I’m pretty sure Isaac colored more than his fair share. He even stuck around to wash all of the cups…

Read this post in its entirety at:http://tyannsheldonrouw.weebly.com/1/post/2014/04/weekend-moments-happy-birthday-teenagers.html

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What is Autism Positivity? Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Amy Sequenzia

We fight against stigmas. We fight to be heard.
The world is not generally friendly to Autistics. We still need to remind people that the same rights they have, rights they expect to be recognized, also apply to us.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because we know we are not a collection of deficits. We know that because we, like everyone else, have assets, abilities and gifts.

We know this because we are human beings.Autism Positivity 2014

Autistics can be extra sensitive to sound and light. While this is seen as a deficit by a majority that is still not accepting of the need for accommodations, Autistics can experience the beauty of the colors in music, in the words we hear, and in the people around us. We can see the wind and hear the silence.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because we experience amazing beauty most people can’t see.

Many of us can’t speak like the majority can. That’s also is seen as a broken feature. But we are listening and learning at a faster pace than the neuromajority is. Give us the opportunity and the right technology, and our thoughts will enrich your life.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because what is inside our minds is worthy the wait to hear our typed, written voices.

Autism Positivity is the freedom to flap, rock, spin and jump.
It is the accepting presence of those who “get it”.

Autism Positivity is feeling intensely every emotion around us.
It is felling safe and finding comfort being alone, with ourselves.

Autism Positivity is having the courage to be ourselves.
It is seeing our lives and actions help young autistics to do the same.

Autism positivity is learning to say “no” to forced compliance.
It is refusing stereotypes, it is fighting stigma and wrong assumptions.

Autism Positivity is reclaiming our right to make decisions.
It is rebelling against practices that seek to fix what is not broken.
We are not broken.

Autism Positivity is exercising our humanity.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because we are human beings and we are pretty awesome, in our Autistic way.

 

Original post at AWN (Autism Women’s Network): http://autismwomensnetwork.org/what-is-autism-positivity-expressions-of-posautivity-autismpositivity2014/

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Filed under Autism Positivity 2014, Autism Positivity Flash Blog, Expressions of PosAutivity, Flash Blog Posts

Pensiveaspie Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Pensiveaspie

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I wanted to write a blog about all the positive and supportive things friends/family members have said to us.

I wanted to fill this post with hope and love so others could be inspired, so I reached out again to my aspie groups and asked for their stories.

What I found was disheartening. I guess I should say what I didn’t find: support.  When I asked my fellow aspies to share hurtful things friends and family had said to them, I was overwhelmed with responses.  When I asked for positive and supportive things from friends and family, I gave them over a week to respond.  Still, the answers were sparse:

Wendy W. – “Wow, that must have been tough

Candice S. – When I told my husband, his reply was “I know” in a very casual tone. His 2 words said everything. They said that he loves the way I am and that includes the AS.

Kelly S. – “Don’t worry, you’ve always done things in your own time.”

Sue A. – “I’m glad you found answers and are embracing who you are.”
“Thank you for being so open and sharing your experience!”
“It’s good that you know this about yourself and what you can do to work on the things you want to improve on.”

So I changed the question.
Last night, I asked “Tell me something that another ASPIE has said to you that made you feel loved and supported.”  I was delighted to see this many responses in less than 24 hours!:

Abby N. – I am kind and understanding

Colin S. – I‘m glad to have met you. Your knowledge is a gift.

Aletheia K. – “I’ve felt the same way all my life, but you actually put it into words!” Or, more simply and profoundly: “Me too.”

Aubrey M. – “We are so much alike”

J.J. B. – My aspie friend has helped me by just listening and not judging

Ron K. – I understand.

Claudia A – Well, you are different. I think it’s great, and if someone doesn’t like it they can go f*** themselves.

Alyce A. – Twins!

Debby T. – We can be weird together!

Julia R.  – Being with other people with ASD can be amazing, especially if you have similar interests, and similar ways of being and communicating. I have several family members with ASD, and just being around them can feel so good because there’s no pressure to be anything different. Also I’ve finally started to understand and appreciate how earlier generations of people with AS in my family organized their lives so as to benefit from the positive aspects of AS and to minimize the more challenging and potentially disabling parts. So it’s not so much what anyone has said, it’s just the sense of the pleasure of feeling completely normal while being around others who are very similar. While also learning from them that you can be autistic and live a good life.

John T. – You guys are the only Aspies I know and you always say nice things to me.

Anne. L. – The facilitator of the Aspie Womens Group commented on how lucky my daughter is to have an Aspie Mom. I bring a level of insight and empathy to her parenting that it is unlikely an NT parent could. I really hadn’t thought about it that way before.

Sherri S. – I admire you a lot. You seem so self-possessed and competent and unruffled.  You have a golden heart.  That’s not weird. I do that too! It is more than just words. It’s a feeling of connection and acceptance. Immediate, unconditional acceptance.

Robin H. – Often times, when others say they have “been there”, they say it with a sharp tone that we’ve learned means we’re stupid and implies “quit your whining you aren’t the only one”. Whereas when my friends who are Aspies say they have “been there”, it is explained with distinct empathy showing their hearts are in sync with mine. If only the rest of the world could know how lonely of a place it is when others do not connect in that way with us.

Kerrilynn H. – You are an inspiration to others. You help others in their journeys by being so open about mine.

Anna W. –  You’re not mad, you’re not wrong, and I rather like you.  You’re neither mad nor hopeless, you’re wonderful.  You are Anna and regardless of what label anyone chooses to slap on you or whatever metaphorical box you may be put in, you will still be Anna.

Ashley M. – I know you asked what supportive things others have said to me, but being supportive of others makes me feel loved and supported myself!  Here is something another Aspie said to me: You give me strength. Because you have been so open about your Asperger’s, I finally feel like I have the strength to find my own voice. Thank you for always being so supportive.

Jenny S. – I get you. Nobody had ever told me that before.

Wendy W. – I feel a connection with you that I’ve never felt with anyone else before- I feel like we’re twins.

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I was sad to see such a lack of support from our friends and family.  At the same time I was overjoyed with how accepting and supportive other Aspies are to each other.  Sometimes, our family isn’t our best support system.  Sometimes, we have to find our own.

If you have Asperger’s or Autism and you are not feeling supported by friends and family, reach out.

There are many support groups online – especially on facebook.  Search twitter for #aspie. Email me.  There is connection and acceptance here. There is friendship here.  You are most definitely NOT alone. <3
Go where the love is.

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Original post at:http://wp.me/p4qqov-4v

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Filed under Autism Positivity 2014, Autism Positivity Flash Blog, Expressions of PosAutivity, Flash Blog Posts