Category Archives: Flash Blog Posts

Moments: Happy Birthday, Teenagers! #AutismPositivity2013

By Tyann Sheldon Rouw

More than ten years ago, I worked with Clark, a man at the University of Northern Iowa who was nearing retirement age. I was pregnant with twins at the time, and many of my colleagues had children of their own. Once in a while, Clark would sit with us in our cubicles late on a Friday afternoon after a long week of work and shoot the breeze. One day he shared that when he thought about his life and how it unfolded, there were certain moments he would never forget. He listed them: getting married while being surrounded by family and friends, becoming a father when his first son was born, and becoming the father of two boys when his youngest son entered the world. Then he told the story of putting pajamas on his two young boys after dinner, loading them into the car with his wife, and taking them out for ice cream. He said it became a fun family tradition.

I’ve never forgotten those words.

At the time I didn’t know if he was just talking to talk, but now I think he had a more important message for us young people: Don’t lose sight of your relationships and your roles. Remember who is important. And have fun.

This week my twin sons turn thirteen years old. Teenagers. We celebrated last Easter weekend with my in-laws at their home. We stayed at a hotel because Isaac is hard to buy for, but he loves experiences. Hotels are at the top of his list. What’s not to love? Elevators, a swimming pool, a breakfast buffet . . . it doesn’t get much better for him.

I’ve been thinking about the moments from the last week I won’t soon forget:

I stood in the kitchen one morning and asked the boys if they wanted to dye eggs after school. Isaac,who was sitting in the living room, shouted, “Yes!”  (He was in another room and answered me. Wowza!) Last year he put two eggs in different cups of dye and retreated to the basement. Not this year. Every boy had an equal number of eggs to color, but I’m pretty sure Isaac colored more than his fair share. He even stuck around to wash all of the cups…

Read this post in its entirety at:http://tyannsheldonrouw.weebly.com/1/post/2014/04/weekend-moments-happy-birthday-teenagers.html

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AutAc Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Dani Alexis

It’s Autism Positivity Day 2014, which seems to me the ideal day for launching this blog.

This project started in a battered spiral notebook I keep next to my bed.  When I started writing, I wasn’t sure I wanted to blog something as intensely personal as an autobiography.  And I’m still not sure.

But there is something wonderfully positive and affirming about writing, specifically, about my autism.  I’m not alone in this; by writing about my autism, I join a community of writers and bloggers of which I’m proud to be a part.

There’s also something wonderfully affirming about autobiography, or memoir, or life writing.  This is particularly true when one is autistic.  It is a persistent irony that so many researchers of autism – themselves neurotypical – continue to believe simultaneously that autistic people are fatally self-absorbed and that autistic people are incapable of writing meaningfully about their own lives…

Read this post in its entirety at: http://autisticacademic.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/autac-expressions-of-posautivity-autismpositivity2014/

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Outpouring of Words ~ By Emma Zurcher-Long #AutismPositivity2014

Outpouring of Words ~ By Emma Zurcher-Long

Three Haikus By Emma Zurcher-Long for #AutismPositivity2014

*Emma writes by typing on a bluetooth qwerty keyboard attached to her iPad.  For more about the way Emma communicates, read – How we Got Here

Springtime

My writing blossoms

greeting welcoming smiles of

 encouragement gladly.

Springtime

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Read this post in its entirety (which includes two more of Emma’s Haiku Poems) at: http://emmashopebook.com/2014/04/30/outpouring-of-words-by-emma-zurcher-long/

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What is Autism Positivity? Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Amy Sequenzia

We fight against stigmas. We fight to be heard.
The world is not generally friendly to Autistics. We still need to remind people that the same rights they have, rights they expect to be recognized, also apply to us.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because we know we are not a collection of deficits. We know that because we, like everyone else, have assets, abilities and gifts.

We know this because we are human beings.Autism Positivity 2014

Autistics can be extra sensitive to sound and light. While this is seen as a deficit by a majority that is still not accepting of the need for accommodations, Autistics can experience the beauty of the colors in music, in the words we hear, and in the people around us. We can see the wind and hear the silence.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because we experience amazing beauty most people can’t see.

Many of us can’t speak like the majority can. That’s also is seen as a broken feature. But we are listening and learning at a faster pace than the neuromajority is. Give us the opportunity and the right technology, and our thoughts will enrich your life.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because what is inside our minds is worthy the wait to hear our typed, written voices.

Autism Positivity is the freedom to flap, rock, spin and jump.
It is the accepting presence of those who “get it”.

Autism Positivity is feeling intensely every emotion around us.
It is felling safe and finding comfort being alone, with ourselves.

Autism Positivity is having the courage to be ourselves.
It is seeing our lives and actions help young autistics to do the same.

Autism positivity is learning to say “no” to forced compliance.
It is refusing stereotypes, it is fighting stigma and wrong assumptions.

Autism Positivity is reclaiming our right to make decisions.
It is rebelling against practices that seek to fix what is not broken.
We are not broken.

Autism Positivity is exercising our humanity.

We celebrate Autism Positivity because we are human beings and we are pretty awesome, in our Autistic way.

 

Original post at AWN (Autism Women’s Network): http://autismwomensnetwork.org/what-is-autism-positivity-expressions-of-posautivity-autismpositivity2014/

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Pensiveaspie Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Pensiveaspie

Image
I wanted to write a blog about all the positive and supportive things friends/family members have said to us.

I wanted to fill this post with hope and love so others could be inspired, so I reached out again to my aspie groups and asked for their stories.

What I found was disheartening. I guess I should say what I didn’t find: support.  When I asked my fellow aspies to share hurtful things friends and family had said to them, I was overwhelmed with responses.  When I asked for positive and supportive things from friends and family, I gave them over a week to respond.  Still, the answers were sparse:

Wendy W. – “Wow, that must have been tough

Candice S. – When I told my husband, his reply was “I know” in a very casual tone. His 2 words said everything. They said that he loves the way I am and that includes the AS.

Kelly S. – “Don’t worry, you’ve always done things in your own time.”

Sue A. – “I’m glad you found answers and are embracing who you are.”
“Thank you for being so open and sharing your experience!”
“It’s good that you know this about yourself and what you can do to work on the things you want to improve on.”

So I changed the question.
Last night, I asked “Tell me something that another ASPIE has said to you that made you feel loved and supported.”  I was delighted to see this many responses in less than 24 hours!:

Abby N. – I am kind and understanding

Colin S. – I‘m glad to have met you. Your knowledge is a gift.

Aletheia K. – “I’ve felt the same way all my life, but you actually put it into words!” Or, more simply and profoundly: “Me too.”

Aubrey M. – “We are so much alike”

J.J. B. – My aspie friend has helped me by just listening and not judging

Ron K. – I understand.

Claudia A – Well, you are different. I think it’s great, and if someone doesn’t like it they can go f*** themselves.

Alyce A. – Twins!

Debby T. – We can be weird together!

Julia R.  – Being with other people with ASD can be amazing, especially if you have similar interests, and similar ways of being and communicating. I have several family members with ASD, and just being around them can feel so good because there’s no pressure to be anything different. Also I’ve finally started to understand and appreciate how earlier generations of people with AS in my family organized their lives so as to benefit from the positive aspects of AS and to minimize the more challenging and potentially disabling parts. So it’s not so much what anyone has said, it’s just the sense of the pleasure of feeling completely normal while being around others who are very similar. While also learning from them that you can be autistic and live a good life.

John T. – You guys are the only Aspies I know and you always say nice things to me.

Anne. L. – The facilitator of the Aspie Womens Group commented on how lucky my daughter is to have an Aspie Mom. I bring a level of insight and empathy to her parenting that it is unlikely an NT parent could. I really hadn’t thought about it that way before.

Sherri S. – I admire you a lot. You seem so self-possessed and competent and unruffled.  You have a golden heart.  That’s not weird. I do that too! It is more than just words. It’s a feeling of connection and acceptance. Immediate, unconditional acceptance.

Robin H. – Often times, when others say they have “been there”, they say it with a sharp tone that we’ve learned means we’re stupid and implies “quit your whining you aren’t the only one”. Whereas when my friends who are Aspies say they have “been there”, it is explained with distinct empathy showing their hearts are in sync with mine. If only the rest of the world could know how lonely of a place it is when others do not connect in that way with us.

Kerrilynn H. – You are an inspiration to others. You help others in their journeys by being so open about mine.

Anna W. –  You’re not mad, you’re not wrong, and I rather like you.  You’re neither mad nor hopeless, you’re wonderful.  You are Anna and regardless of what label anyone chooses to slap on you or whatever metaphorical box you may be put in, you will still be Anna.

Ashley M. – I know you asked what supportive things others have said to me, but being supportive of others makes me feel loved and supported myself!  Here is something another Aspie said to me: You give me strength. Because you have been so open about your Asperger’s, I finally feel like I have the strength to find my own voice. Thank you for always being so supportive.

Jenny S. – I get you. Nobody had ever told me that before.

Wendy W. – I feel a connection with you that I’ve never felt with anyone else before- I feel like we’re twins.

gowhere

I was sad to see such a lack of support from our friends and family.  At the same time I was overjoyed with how accepting and supportive other Aspies are to each other.  Sometimes, our family isn’t our best support system.  Sometimes, we have to find our own.

If you have Asperger’s or Autism and you are not feeling supported by friends and family, reach out.

There are many support groups online – especially on facebook.  Search twitter for #aspie. Email me.  There is connection and acceptance here. There is friendship here.  You are most definitely NOT alone. <3
Go where the love is.

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Original post at:http://wp.me/p4qqov-4v

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A is for Anxiety: Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By R

Recently I’ve blogged about the possibility that my son has Aspergers syndrome and the long journey we have started as parents trying to get him an assesment and appropriate help at school (indeed today we had a positive meeting with the Special Needs Co-ordinator (Senco) at his school).

Today, as my small part of Autism Positivity, I thought I’d go off topic on this blog again (after all, it’s supposed to be about my mental health) and shout something out to anyone that’s listening.

My son is wonderful and there’s is absolutely nothing wrong with him!

And I absolutely mean that. He is kind, helpful, inquisitive, friendly, cuddly, energetic, generous, inventive, knowledgable, thoughtful. Actually I’m a bit wary of writing a list of adjectives about him, as I’m bound to leave some of his great qualities out. I love him and he’s great. There is nothing wrong with him and I don’t want to change him in any way.

So why all the letters to doctors and conversations with schools?

Because I want to change other people. I want to change the way they behave with him.

Whatever diagnosis he does or doesn’t end up with, I know that he’s not your average child. I mean, every mum thinks their child is extra special, but more than that he certainly seems to think and behave a little differntly from some of his peers.

But different doesn’t mean wrong…

Read the complete post here: http://aisforanxiety.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/expressions-of-posautivity-autismpositivity2014/

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Love is the Language and Making Connections #AutismPositivity2014

By Yuk-Lung Chan

‘Love is the language’ By Yuk-Lung Chan

 

 

Making Connections

‘Making Connections’ By Yuk-Lung Chan

 

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Barking Sycamores’ Expressions of PosAutivity #AutismPositivity2014

By Barking Sycamores

Artistic Communication: An “Ausome” Thing

by Nicole Nicholson and Virgil S. Maday

“Morning has broken” for us at Barking Sycamores. Because we believe so strongly in the importance of neurodivergent artistic communication, we offer a medium by which neurodiverse poetic voices communicate inner thoughts, visions, and interpretations of ourselves and the world around us. And this, we think, is a very “ausome” thing.

Indeed, a new day is dawning. In the last few years, the goal in the world of autism has begun to shift from “awareness” — which has been a flawed message full of fallacies, misconceptions, and stereotypes — to acceptance, which promotes the idea that autism, ADHD, bipolar, and other similar states of being are simply valid neurological differences as opposed to disorders. But there is still much to be done — which is why Barking Sycamores is here. And our goal is a larger one shared with many other neurodiverse individuals and organizations — to pave the way from the acceptance of autism and other neurological differences to an understanding of them. To accomplish this, we have chosen the path of activism through art.

The truth is, we neurodivergent artists have always been here — the writers, visual artists, musicians, and more recently, the film makers. A very short list of creatives with neurodivergent traits from time past include Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Vincent Van Gogh, Emily Dickinson, Paul Robeson, Jim Morrison, Lewis Carroll, Kurt Cobain, and Hans Christian Andersen. Modern living neurodivergent artists include Adam Young of Owl City, Susan Boyle, singer/songwriter Rudy Simone, Daryl Hannah, singer/songwriter Travis Meeks (formerly of Days of the New), Robin Williams, and poet Tito Mukhopadhyay.

As for us neurodiverse writers, we are a a cadre of wordsmiths offering our songs and visions to the world — whether we sing of the glorious and divine, whether we sing “under torture” as Arthur Rimbaud put it, or we give voice to the colors in between. A few of these profoundly creative and “ausome” folk have been featured in our first issue.

Some poets are truth-tellers, distilling their observations and experiences into word-weaved visions.

“Some see a universe filled with a fierce beauty
that the ‘normal’ could never imagine”
The One Who”, Amy Barlow Liberatore

Other poets offer a touch, a word, or a witness to our common humanity — and within these gifts to us, offer comfort as well.

“This poem dreams your original face
bears witness to all your struggles, your sorrows,
licks your tears everywhere they fall.”
Poem to Change the World”, Barbara Ruth

Some poets challenge the reader to open uncommon doors and shift the lenses through which our cultures — our mores, stories, legends, and fictions — are viewed.

“The overstimulation
Of the senses inspired the creation of his own
Cypher, the stimming fingers, a calming mechanism, the silent
Knowledge of which only Watson witnesses.”
A Sleuthian Acrostic”, Lucas Scheelk

And still others report of new worlds and cultural realities even as we humans are creating them.

“I step large through ghost worlds,
using my deus ex apparatus
to influence my peers at a distance,
a digital extension of Hamlet’s ghostly visitation.”
Autocyborgography”, Michael Scott Monje, Jr.

We invite you to read our first issue, which is publishing right now. Many “ausome” poetic voices have been featured, and more are to come throughout the issue period. You will encounter visions of all kinds — the glorious, the painful, the real, the raw, the….us. We, the neurodiverse, are creating without apologies.

And we will never stop.

This post was shared by the editors for this year’s Autism Positivity 2014 flashblog event on April 30, 2014. If you want to participate, see here for instructions. You can also read other writings for the flashblog event here.

Also, some of our Issue 1 authors have written PosAutivity posts of their own.  Michael Scott Monje, Jr. has one here, A.D. Stone has one here, and Savannah Nicole Logsdon-Breakstone has one here.

Original post at: http://wp.me/p4kQEx-4W

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Unstrange Mind: Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

By Sparrow Rose Jones

Autism Positivity 2014 Flash Blog
It’s April 30th. The last day of Autism Acceptance Month. And the day of the third annual Autism Positivity Flash Blog. I didn’t write for the last two iterations. The first one, I didn’t hear about. I was not part of the online Autism community at that time because I was taking a break from the stress of things — I had met my first local Autistic adult and it turned out horribly with stalking and threats. And I was living with a partner who hated autism and Autistic people. I did not know that I am Autistic when I got together with him and my diagnosis was pretty devastating for the relationship (which still somehow continued for another decade afterwards.)

I first learned about this project a few months after it launched for the first time and I was kind of shocked into silence. You see, I have a tendency when frustrated to treat Google as a sort of oracle. I will type a complete sentence in, like “He calls me stupid all the time but I’m really smart.” Once I typed in “My rat died and I’m very sad.” The hits that are returned from these sorts of non-questions are often enlightening, sometimes comforting, sometimes informative.

So I honestly don’t know if I’m the person who typed, “I wish I didn’t have Asperger’s,” but it was so much like the sorts of things I do type into Google when I’m feeling lost and distressed and, with all the stress I had in my relationship and with university and fighting for accommodations no one wanted to let me have and getting accommodations that just made my classmates so angry they bullied me so much I wished I had just dropped the class instead — I did actually drop out of becoming a math major because the attitude toward accommodations in that department was so hostile that I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish the degree either way — with all that going on, I was having a really hard time and so much of my stress and struggle was centered around being Autistic.

I will never know if I’m the person who triggered the first Autism Positivity Flash Blog or not, but it was so much the sort of thing I would have done, that I could only sit in shock and read through all those letters to . . . . if not me, someone exactly like me.

So I didn’t write last year because I was still too overwhelmed by the bigness of it all. I sat and read every single entry from that first year and I cried a lot and, most of all, I felt supported. I was afraid to say anything to anyone about the possibility that it might have been me they were writing to. I figured it didn’t matter, because whether it was me or not, there are so many other people out there who desperately needed to read those words. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of “me”s out there feeling miserable about the cards life dealt them and wishing they could play any other hand but that one. And I still have no idea if it was me or not, but I’m revealing now that it might have been me because it’s important to know that if you are going to understand what my Expression of PosAutivity really means: it might as well have been me and this project gave me something to rejoice about at a time in my life when there really didn’t seem to be anything good about me or my Autistic life.

I didn’t necessarily believe every word that I read, but it awakened something in me. A few months later, I re-opened this blog. I had shut it down after the bad experience with the local Autistic. I was afraid and I was ashamed. I re-opened the blog and in that first post, I published my photograph and my full name. I was protesting Ann Coulter’s use of the R-word and I was putting myself out there to say “this is who you are hurting when you use that word” and also putting myself out there to say “I am no longer afraid and ashamed. I will be known.”

I could not have found that courage if I had not read all those letters to . . . . someone like me . . . . that were written back in 2012.

So the joy I want to write about today is this: life dealt me a hand but it wasn’t Aces and Eights. Sure, I haven’t figured out what to do with that Trey of Hearts yet, but it’s not a Deadman’s Hand and, what’s more, the cards are merely slips of paper that only carry as much power as the players choose to assign to them. What life also dealt me was a table filled with players who have decided to turn the game into something we all can win. I am seated with great people who want to help me figure out where that Trey goes. I am seated with generous people who are willing to show me their cards so we can all play together instead of against one another.

I still struggle with the notion of “Autistic Pride.” It’s not easy for me. Inch by inch, I approach it. But in those dark times when I am unable to take pride in myself, I can always look around me and take pride in my community. We — Autistics and allies — are strong, brave, loving people. We are people who work hard to make the world better for us and those who will come after us. We are people who will take the time to write anonymous letters of hope and love to people we’ve never met — anonymous people crying out for some relief from the pain. I take joy in my people, my tribe, my family.  We are a loyal people, an understanding people, a forgiving people. I am honored to sit at the table with the wise and noble souls I find myself surrounded by.

I no longer refer to myself as “having Asperger’s.” For one, it’s now a historical term, like Dementia Praecox or Invert or Hyperkinetic Reaction of Childhood. For another, I’ve learned that what I am is Autistic and I have no need for a special label that attempts to place me in some hierarchy of “functioning levels” (and couldn’t place myself there very well even if I tried, since my “function” is so variable from task-to-task and from day-to-day.)

But also, I no longer wish I didn’t have Asperger’s (or autism of any stripe.)  I’m dating someone different — someone who loves me and admires all of me and understands that I am who I am because I am Autistic, not in spite of it. I am on a different life path so I am no longer fighting with a university for accommodations I need but am punished for requesting. And I can now see that being Autistic is not only who I am, through and through, pervasively, but it is something that connects me with a warm, welcoming, compassionate community of the most decent and loving human beings I’ve ever met in my life. Not a perfect community, because it’s made of people are none of us are perfect. But a community that has repeatedly taken my hand and helped me up when  I fell to the ground and lay there, hopeless.

This is what I am PosAutive about. Being Autistic put me in the middle of the grandest community of people I could ever have hoped to find.

 

Original post at Unstrange Mind:http://unstrangemind.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/unstrange-mind-expressions-of-posautivity-autismpositivity2014/

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Expressing PosAutivity in A Negative World #AutismPositivity2014

By Kerima Cevik

Dear Mrs. Çevik,

I have spent the past week of ESY getting to know Mustafa. He is a pleasant happy 5 year old. We have discovered he has developed his own gestural language. He is able to communicate his needs very well. There is no need to send lunch, unless you are concerned about allergies. He enjoyed his sandwiches, grapes and juice with his classmates. He had a great deal of fun today.  I have attached a list of supplies he’ll need for next week’s activities. I am looking forward to working with him.

                                                          Sincerely,
XXXXXXX XXXXXX, M.Ed
Image of multicolored background with uplifted arms
and hands reaching upward  with the words
Autism Positivity 2014 Flash Blog written in black
them

There was a time when my son Mustafa spoke Turkish. Turkish imparts more meaning with less verbiage. I believe this is why he chose Turkish,  despite hearing two other languages spoken in our home. When expressive language failed him. he created his own method of communication, using a combination of the simple ASL signs he was learning and gestures, sometimes grasping objects and putting them together in order get his message across. Once he entered kindergarten, al his attempts to communicate were ignored everywhere except at home. There was a push to invalidate his attempts because they did not fit into the definition of the language he was expected to speak. PECs were half heartedly presented as an alternative and we were asked to reinforce their use. When I asked how he was supposed to learn grammar from these cards, I was told it didn’t matter, because according to professional opinion, he was not competent to create more than two word sentences.

How low would your frustration level be if you used every possible thing at your disposal to communicate and you were deliberately ignored?

When I say my son is heroic, what I mean in part is the way he handles the issues in his life like systemic ableism . Were I in his place, I believe I would meltdown repeatedly for hours on end. Yet my son gets up each day, and puts all his effort into finding any way he can to send messages to a receiver. Communication can only occur if the receiver accepts the message sent.

He is, unlike presumptions based on his labels, an incredibly patient preteen.  His frustrations are natural considering his circumstances. I didn’t learn this overnight. It took directly working with him for years, looking at him based on what he did in homeschool and not what we were told to believe. He is not a secret genius. He is not, like Big Bird, eternally 6 years old. He is not a nonspeaking infantile angelic figure in a growing asexual body here to test my faith. He is an 11 year old boy, with the mischief, hopes, dreams, good days and bad of anyone else his age. He has great challenges and he spends each day of his life in a battle to overcome them. He needs three things to express himself; communication supports, a person willing to accept all avenues of message delivery from him, and that all those working with him assume he is competent to communicate expressively. He does not require verbal speech. He needs respect and the belief that if given the assistive technology and supports he needs, he can express himself.

Sometimes the world of activism is so gruesome and harsh, and so much negative news hits so quickly that it is overwhelming. I watch people get caught up in passionate battles to be heard, to get their points across because sometimes those points mean saving lives in the balance. But the internet distances and that can cause great harm. It creates people who don’t really behave the same way offline. Hurtful nasty individuals who carry their unhappy lives online and attack others for no good purpose. I see deliberate posting of inflammatory content with the intent of spiking hits on social media. I see people looking for answers who are caught in the autism wars of groups with cult like followings and dangerous destructive agendas that condone murder and I feel myself reeling back from it all. I feel the need to unplug.

When I need air, when I want to find my center I look at my son. How tall he is now, the unmistakable mustache, the glimpses of a calmer spirit. All the professional warnings of puberty and its struggles notwithstanding, the mother who wondered what would happen when her son towered over her is now sitting beside him each day and breathing to the motion of his rocking in his seat, smiling when he reacts with joy at making himself clear. The pall lifts from my life because I remember he is the reason for what I do. He has already surpassed other’s expectations. I feel the air filling my lungs. Exhaling feels like walking in sunlight.

Blogging was never for me. It was and is for him. It was to leave a trail of words to help him find his way to the reality that he was, is,  will always be, a loved person. He matters. In a world where his peers will always be measured by the worst moments of their lives, he needed to know, everyone needs to know, that our son’s person-hood is measured by all the moments of his life. The joyful moments are so happy because we can look back on the where we began this journey and see how far we’ve come together. This body of work is a legacy for him to know, whether we are here or not, that we love him as he is. Not because we hope to change him. But because we can see him in his entirety now and we know he is an amazing person. He is a stronger person than I am. He perseveres. He overcomes, regardless of how long it takes him. He does not give up. These are the qualities of greatness. .

I could tell you that he uses a TouchChat HD somewhat to express himself. I can tell you that once all the other myriad medical questions he deserves answers to are addressed we will dedicate all our energies to this single task of helping him master the AAC app. I can tell you all about how occasionally but rarely,  he has spoken words. His voice is changing. We are surprised to learn that his changing voice is becoming a true baritone. But that is really not what this is about. This is about telling you that I believe that my son is competent to express himself without verbal speech. His performance art in communication is patient and beautiful.

I am positive that my love for my son is returned. He demonstrates that each day. Without saying a word. By his patience, an arm around my shoulder at movie time,  walking back into a room to hug out an apology for something gone wrong. I know he has very few people he cares for in this way. I am aware therefore, of how very important it is to be one of those he loves.

I cannot impart on you what it does to an autistic child when you understand them. Their entire quality of life improves. They gain confidence. They begin to self advocate. They try their best each day. Many parents have stories of learning their children must have been in excruciating pain for days weeks even months and not been able to communicate it to them. Looking back on the meltdowns and behavioral issues then has them wondering how any child could endure such things without melting down continually or lashing out more frequently. Behavior is communication.

If you want your life with your loved one to change for the better, start by changing how you feel about them. They know, in your body language, if you are disappointed, angry, ashamed. When you have done that work on yourself, begin to observe your loved one. What happens before a crisis. What happens before joy. Then do whatever is necessary to help your child complete the communication cycle with you. Be the open receiver to the message.

Love your child. Or as my late uncle John used to say when we ended our phone conversations.

“Take care, kid. Enjoy your child.”

 

Original post at: http://theautismwars.blogspot.ca/2014/04/expressing-posautivity-in-negative-world.html

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Filed under Autism Positivity 2014, Autism Positivity Flash Blog, Expressions of PosAutivity, Flash Blog Posts